Friends with Benefits
Driving back from my Boulder dharma talk,
I am surprised to hear your reaction
to my tale of mother and child
on the flight from Worcester.
Sure, pathos blooms
in the regret of a missed opportunity
to say something kind.
But I think the fertile ground
is recognition,
a bulb beginning to stir.
You find my holding back alien.
Wounding, even.
I don’t get how you speak your mind
so easily.
I’m surprised,
not that we arrived at different conclusions,
but that we have such a different calculus.
Or maybe
you have no calculus at all.
I couldn’t live like that,
so unguarded,
so reckless.
Kalyana Mitta,
I think that’s why
we’re friends.
Kalyana mitta, Pali for auspicious or admirable friend, is usually translated as “spiritual friend.” Not someone who agrees with you. Someone who helps you see what you couldn’t see on your own.
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. A comment, a share, or even just a like goes a long way. Writing into the void is its own practice, but knowing the work lands makes it easier to keep showing up.