Surprised by Joy
As assigned, I’ve meditated only on loving-kindness for myself all week. It’s a slog. Solipsism shouldn’t be so intentional. Then tonight, I’m sitting in the meditation hall, waiting on the meeting to start. Looking down at the cabling running from the speaker’s laptop to the PA system, joy arrives. No particular epiphanies or good fortunes. Just this sense that all is okay. Even though so much is a mess, somehow, it’s also okay. It takes me back to leaving Barcelona. As we shuttle across the tarmac to board, I imagine the airplane going down over the Mediterranean. In this daydream, I turn to Leila and simply say, “It’s been a good ride.” Just that. And I meant it. And that shocked me. No bargaining. No regrets. Just “It’s been a good ride.” Joy unbidden. Even in disaster.
The title borrows from C.S. Lewis, who described joy as something that arrives uninvited and can't be summoned. I haven't actually read that particular book. But I think he got that part right.
A Zen saying captures the other part: "Enlightenment is an accident. Practice makes you accident-prone."
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. A comment, a share, or even just a like goes a long way. Writing into the void is its own practice, but knowing the work lands makes it easier to keep showing up.