Talking Past Each Other
He was discussing a fellow seminary student.
“How could you not be sure either way by this age?”
I don’t remember
if I stared blankly
or nodded.
I remember
feeling so alone.
Driving back from a festival in Illinois,
she said,
“I just can’t imagine feeling so bad
you’d think of ending it all.”
I kept my eyes on the road.
Later, I wrote:
“I’ll have to remeasure the world.”
We sat down to watch Buffy.
I hung on every word
in silence.
You commented on
her tight pants.
I went back to reading
Fear and Trembling in Sunnydale
and watching
alone.
This one came to me while I was sitting in a sushi restaurant, waiting for Rose to finish guitar lessons.
Three moments. Three different people (and me). 25 to 35 years ago.
I was a little surprised how quickly they came back.
I don’t live in that same place anymore. In some ways, that version of me feels like someone else. But I remember him.
And yes — Fear and Trembling in Sunnydale is a real book. Full title: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy: Fear and Trembling in Sunnydale. With 23 essays from professional philosophers examining the “crucial ethical and metaphysical aspects of the Buffyverse.”
I read the poem and share a bit more in the audio.
When I launched, I tried using my podcast setup and quickly got lost in endless Audition tweaking. This time it’s just Substack’s record-from-browser. No editing. Just me, in real time.